Random Fact #1

John was only 5’2” tall in high school. So not only was he a card-carrying geek, but he was a card-carrying shorter-than-all-the-girls geek.

John Olson
The Completely Unauthorized Biography

John Olson grew up in Rock Hill, SC. He spent the first year of his formal education at West End Elementary School where he and his faithful companion Mark Self co-founded the Cookie Coal Club which will eventually make them billionaires. Mark and John paid the other children cookies in exchange for the coal they found in the cinder-covered playground. They buried the coal in a secret place and plan one day to dig it up and sell the diamonds to fund their retirements.

After West End was condemned, John transferred to York Road Elementary school where he earned an Elementariate degree in General Education. During his time at York Road, John served as Junior Assistant Destiny, Surgeon General and Deputy Chief Mortician (in which role he issued Death Certificates and presided over the burials of scores of dead cockroaches and beetles).

Growing up with biologist parents was always an adventure. While his friends went to Disney World on their vacations, he and his family traveled out into the desert so that his father could study desert bacteriology. While his friends learned about early birds getting the worm, he learned the migratory patterns of the Zonotrichia albicollis. When friends visited they were frequently so grossed out by the dinner conversation that they had to flee the kitchen table. Life was good.

John went on to do graduate work at Rawlinson Road Junior High and then post-graduate work at Northwestern High School where he specialized in wishing he wasn’t too short to date. Many of his teachers remember fondly the day he graduated. In fact John and his friend Mark were so fond of practical jokes that one teacher actually locked herself in a metal cabinet rather than face the scheming duo.

After growing about four feet in one summer, John went to the College of Charleston where he and a friend literally joined every organization on the campus and even created a few of their own. He went on to earn a Ph.D. in biochemistry from the University of Wisconsin at Madison and narrowly escaped with his life. (Ditching a solid state NMR session at a scientific conference once left him clinging desperately to the face of a cliff all night, sharing a sweat shirt with a friend to keep warm.) After two years of postdoctoral work in computational drug design at the University of California at San Francisco, John worked eight years as a director and principal scientist at a major scientific software and then promptly retired. That's right. For those of you doing the math, he studied twenty-four years in order to work for only eight years.

John is currently working on the infamous Forever Standing novels. Yes, these are the books people have been talking about for years, you know, the books that don't have any vampires in them at all.

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